All I've Got

If there were one principle in this world that I have fought against with all my might, it has been this; if there were a truth that I have struggled to dismiss as the bitter hope of an atheist, it is this: chaos is the order of the Universe.

I am witnessing the unraveling of the fabric of this world, of my life;
my zuchini's have been raped.

I know not what has caused me to find them in their abused and violated state, only that I know they will not survive, or if they do, they will forever live in the shadow of the glorious plants they almost were.
This pains me deeply, such that I am left gingerly peeling away the thick, hollow, succulent filled stems and choking on my despair.
Shall there ever be sacred order in my life that is not susceptible to violent thrashing forces?
This cannot be allright.
I cared for them so tenderly - have wiped their broad hirsute leaves from biting ants and hungry caterpillars, have tromped and challenged the moles that threatened to invade their root systems, carefully lifted and inspected the vibrant yellow flowers in anticipation of the swollen fruit that was soon to emerge.
And where has my energy gone? The particles of love have been scattered in the wind, dissipating into the atmosphere, never to exist in its intended form.

Truthfully I am more enraged than devastated, but dare not let myself acknowledge this.
It is a quiet belief of mine that anger is not to be entertained but divorced.
Anger has no place in a loving universe, in love itself.

So.
I will stand tonight with my sadness in hand, and be witness to the literal darkness that has gathered above my home.
It will wash away this tragedy and in its place I will find faith.
But first, I must stop pouting long enough to mourn.
Come the dawn, I will have found the strength to do what must be done - as it has always been this way.